The Visitor Knows No Bounds

     Have you ever seriously considered the overused saying “Life is short, so enjoy every minute of it?” My wife and I have learned over the years, as many of our fellow mortals have learned, to abide by this quip. Indeed, we have found that life has become shorter since our boys (now young men) left the nest (another overused saying). A saying that I often think of, being caught in these mature years of life, but feel is inappropriate is “I hope life could be longer.” Hope, I feel, is only useful in a state of hopelessness; and I certainly don’t feel my life is hopeless. I do have God and my beautiful wife.

     Now that we spend almost all of our hours together (we are both retired), my wife of 31 years search for pastimes to keep us occupied, such as watching the news and our favorite TV programs (not at all unique, right?). Recently, I learned how another couple in a similar life situation spend their time together. The past time they have developed, some would think it strange, involves a relationship with an imaginary visitor from outer space, appropriately named the Visitor. In the relationship the husband plays the Visitor and his wife plays a caught-unawares yet inquisitive earthling. The earthling is surprised by the relationship, you see, because the Visitor has secretly invaded her husband’s body.  He revealed himself, one day, unexpectedly, and is distinguished (only by the earthling) by his unsociable behavior and by his (better than thou) style of speaking which, more than not, centers on the purpose of his visit.

    The Visitor has arrived to prepare for an (time to be determined) eventual, invasion of earth by his planet, appropriately named Visitene.  The dialogue that goes on between the Visitor and the earthling is not planned and only takes place when they are relaxing together and speaking of things that may be common to earthlings or, in general, commenting on the day’s mundane events. Some things, however, are not so common to the Visitor; others are ordinary knowledge to him– he spares no social skills in letting the earthling know this.

    The Visitor’s behavior is consistent and seems to (almost always) involve putting-down the earthling and her planet and haughtily commenting on both general and peculiar issues that arise during their discussions. He and his time on earth as well as his visit with the earthling know no bounds. 

A Visit to Family

     Part of living the good life involves giving attention to family. The three boys that my wife and I were given the opportunity to raise are the reminders that, no matter what goes on in our lives or what goes on in the world, family is intended to enrich the human condition and give a solace that can only be explained by a relationship with our creator.

    This Labor Day weekend, my wife and I traveled to Arizona to visit our oldest son and his wife of, almost, 11 months. We traveled Amtrak from New Orleans to south central Arizona (more about the Amtrak trip in another blog) and are now, at this writing, visiting them.

    Related, somewhat, to this blog about family is a story about three creatures we left behind at home in Louisiana: our "grand dogs." These are the three orphans that our sons left us at the time of their eventual (and eventful) departures from the "nest." More about these "puppies", also, in another blog - view a brief video of the puppies and one morning of their daily routine, also in another blog.

Until then, enjoy the good life.

Mike Huckabee

Mike Huckabee

I appreciate your show on Fox, but you need to be more current when you prop up the Iowa straw poll as important as you think it is. My reasons are the following:

1) Today's America, including Iowa, is more fluid and dynamic than it was 40 years ago - you cannot honestly say that Iowa is a "filter" or representative of the country at large.

2) In reference to farmers, rural residents - today's farmers and food producers (I am talking about family and individually owned farms) represent less than 3% of the electorate. Big corporations and subsidies to farmers, such as honey producers, control food production in this country.

3) McCain won the Republican nomination despite not being in the Iowa Straw poll

Come on, Mike, we are of the same generation (I am 56 years of age); you and I ought to know better than making comments that are not totally true. And as a Christian, remember that Paul was not a full time preacher (he worked hard for his living and evangelised, despite this). And the most important is that Jesus was not a politician.

Mike, make your voice known without submitting to the mundane demands of being a politician - you do a great job on your show (except for some inaccurate comments) and you made the right decision not to run for the Presidency. Indeed, I have more respect for Billy Grahmn than I would and will have for any politician, self-proclaimed Christian or not.

Choices: How to live with them

     This article is the second part of a review of The Paradox of Choice, Why More is Less (2004, Harper Books) by Barry Schwartz.   Schwartz’s main point of discussion in the book is that “as the number of choices increase, negative aspects of having a multitude of options begin to appear………the negatives escalate until we become overloaded.” Dealing with the multitude of choices in today’s world, whether we notice it or not, take a toll on our mental and physical stabilities.

     Indeed, as The Paradox of Choice notes, suicide rates are the highest in countries whose citizens have the most freedom of choosing and the most to choose from; the personal freedom that is enjoyed by peoples of developed Western nations and western oriented nations like Japan. Schwartz notes it is much easier to blame oneself for disappointing results in a world that provides unlimited choice than in a world in which options are limited.

     Blaming oneself for failed results leads to a sense of loss of control which leads to helplessness and ultimately, for many, to depression. Schwartz cites one psychologist’s hypothesis that states "having control is of crucial importance to psychological, subjective well-being” (defined as happiness).  But, enough about talk of depression! How can one deal with choices and reduce the potential, negative consequences?

     There are ways to deal with or even eliminate much of the stress associated with making choices. The following ways, according to Schwartz, require practice, discipline, and changes in the way we think: (1) Choose when to choose – decide which choices in life really matter and focus time and energy on them; (2) Be a chooser/not a picker – reflect on important decisions before choosing/don’t pick the most convenient options; (3) Satisfice more/maximize less –cultivate the habit of being “satisfied” in more areas of life (don’t try to always “maximize” results/what you get from decisions);  (4) Think about the “opportunity costs” of trying to maximize – these costs eat up time, energy, and resources, so stick with your decision, avoid temptations for the new/improved, and don’t scratch unless there is an itch; (5) Make decisions non-reversible – discard the temptation to look at seemingly better alternatives, and pour energy into improving the current situation; (6) Practice gratitude – reflect on how much better things are than they might be; (7) Regret Less – reduce number of options to consider/cultivate the “satificer” attitude; (8) Anticipate anticipation – spend less time researching and agonizing over decisions before they are made; (9) Control expectations – remove excess expectations of your decisions;  (10) Reduce social comparisons – do less “keeping up with the Jones”/learn that good enough is good enough; (11) Learn to appreciate constraints – develop your own rules and standards for making certain choices; stick with them till they become habits; keeping true to them enables you to imagine more possibilities.

     Schwartz notes that social scientists who study choice tell us that humans are rational beings and that added options can only improve our society. Maybe these scientists should read Schwartz’s The Paradox of Choice and come up with a modified version of their conclusion; they would be making a choice read. 

I Love Paul Revere Whether It is Transparent that He Rode or Not

     Transparency is one of those words that stimulate me to consider why it is that it is so important. Then I consider that if the windows in our houses were not transparent, we would not be able to look outside.  If a summer afternoon’s breeze was not transparent, we most likely would see a cloud or mist-like barrier separating us from others and from familiar sites. Yes, transparency is important, and the need and desire for it throughout the world go without saying.

     In contrast to an increasing desire for transparency in governments and the desire for self-determination in many of the world’s countries, Americans have always wanted their governments, at whatever time in history, to be transparent.  However, from  a curious book, entitled I Love Paul Revere Whether He Rode or Not (1992) by Richard Shenkman, I learned a lot of things about our country that were not always transparent; things I never learned in any history books.  For example, we now know that Jefferson may have slept with slaves. But do many of us know that Benjamin Franklin was promiscuous, John Adams was pompous, and Washington, though balanced, was not brilliant? On the contrary to one revelation, I think Washington was brilliant in overplaying the adversity at Valley Forge to obtain more aid and to fend off criticism from officials who thought the army should spend the winter fighting, according to Shenkman. And no doubt, you may guess, there are many revelations about our infant government.

     Do most of us know that the Constitution was built on the premise that man is ambitious, vindictive, and greedy; that the founding fathers did not emphasize religion as a pillar of liberty; that the Constitutional Congress opened without a single public prayer; and that several of our first presidents refused to be concerned about prayers? These and other revelations are in Shenkman’s book, to include those that relate to the economic spasm America is now going through.

     From other sources of information, I have always suspected that American business (big business) has always had a long history of asking help from the government -  it certainly would be more comforting if historians, the government, the media, and other sources of supposed knowledge were more transparent about this. These sources could or could have informed the “average” citizen that business founders in the 1800’s chose to allow the government to directly take over essential businesses or lend them the money they needed; that the early farmer not only welcomed government aid but demanded it (the naturally suspicious farmer during the beginnings of our country came to recognize the importance of the government to successful agriculture); and that between 1865 and 1900, Americans suffered through more depressions and panics than at any other time in history - Shenkman does.

     So why should we consider  revelations made in Shenkman’s book? Well, by coincidence, according to June 7 national news, Sarah Palin claimed that Paul Revere warned the British of “well-armed  Americans” and that they (the British) would not succeed. This info about Revere is more than likely true.  However, Palin did not add that Revere never got the chance to make his warning ride before he was captured by the British (according to Shenkman).

     Shenkman's book is not important in that it presents facts that may be known only by a minority of the population. Its importance is that it should make all of us consider the role transparency plays in local, state, and national government or in any organization supported by government. And it should not be that Americans don’t trust or love their government. It should be that government,  like a loving parent, must be forthcoming in transmitting information essential to personal and economic freedom and the quest for the good life.

Choices: Headaches for more than just the holiday season

     Choices are like butterflies. You try to capture the ones you think are the most beautiful and unique. However, without the proper skills you may damage them (or injure yourself) or not be able to collect them at all. If you are successful with your hunt of these darlings of the insect world, you later discover your collection may not be as rare or as beautiful as you thought.

      For many of us, the holidays may seem like butterfly hunting season, the one during which we must make the most and most difficult choices; what gifts to buy, what meals to serve, whether or not to visit relatives or some sought after location, or just keep them simple.  However, we should reflect on the fact that we make choices – some automatic and easy, some deliberate and difficult – during every waking moment of the year. And just dealing with the multitude of choices, whether we notice it or not, take a toll on our mental and physical abilities.

     “As the number of choices increase, negative aspects of having a multitude of options begin to appear………the negatives escalate until we become overloaded” – this observation discussed in The Paradox of Choice, Why More is Less (2004, Harper Books) by Barry Schwartz.  In this provocative book Schwartz explores how the range of choices people face has increased over the years; how difficult and demanding it has become in making wise choices;  and “how several psychological processes explain why added options do not make people better off: adaptation, regret, missed opportunities, raised expectations, and feeling of inadequacy in comparison with others”.

     Adaptation is one of the key psychological processes that seems to be emphasized (if not subtly) throughout Paradox of Choice. One process for which adaptation is called for is decision-making.  In decision-making one would normally define a goal or goals; identify some of the options for meeting the goal(s); evaluate the options; pick the best option; and, later, reflect on results of the chosen option to change or modify goals. Decision-making can be hard work, and the difficulty increases with the number of options we can choose from. This difficulty almost always translates into ineffective use of the process.

     The subject of choice is a hot topic of many of today’s self-help books and current media (the internet and magazines). In fact, it is too hot to write about in just one blog column – look in future editions of this blog for more discussion on information presented in The Paradox of Choice. Until then, chose wisely!

Why Science is no help in quest for the "good life".

Another article I feel represents my interests in the search for the "good life" is provided for your reading and your comments. ks

Science No Help in the Search for the Good Life

By Kenneth Spoto, Ph.D.

   Living the “good life” is basically to pursue it - not necessarily to make it big as a millionaire or celebrity but as an avatar of good character, change, and/or leadership.

   According to Peter J. Gomes, in his book entitled The Good Life (2002), virtues are the important things in life and people do not (and more than likely will not be) need to be reminded of this by the physical sciences. Although we may know them as character, the virtues of life (and we often violate them) are what matter in the human condition. This condition may be said to be the social, cultural, and personal make up of humanity that is present in each of us, regardless of race, sex, class, etc. Basically stated, it includes the human search for purpose, sense of curiosity, the inevitability of isolation, and the fear of death. In comparing the human condition to science and technology Gomes says, “…the truly unimportant things hardly seem worth the trouble and are left to discovery by large industry and abysmal (scientific) knowledge.”

   So why can’t large industry with the aid of science and an unlimited amount of accumulated knowledge help the human condition? An answer may be in the definition of science. The term “science” has evolved over history to specifically mean, more or less, the quest to harness and manipulate the laws of the “physical” world. Science, by this definition, has enabled man to develop machines that can be used to macro-explore the solar system and micro-explore particles of the atom. There are no machines that can be used to explore the human condition; therefore man is left to his own, non-science devices.

   Indeed, scientific study on the human condition would be very difficult to conduct because there are so many variables that affect humans. Identification of which variables caused an effect would be suspect. Once again, the physical sciences have machines to explore many causal events in the physical world; the human condition has none. If social and other scientists delve too deeply and closely to causal events in the human condition, “their fingers get in the way and thus observations are clouded”.       

   When seeking the good life, Gomes offers many considerations, some of which are the following: happiness can be more correctly defined as a “flourishing” or “wellbeing,” rather than just pleasure or contentment; we do not do virtuous things in order to be happy - rather, we are happy because we do virtuous things; discipline and freedom are “means to an end” of living a good life; prudence is the practice of always choosing the good, even if it does not always stand on the side of the status quo; fortitude enables us with all necessary strength to contend against that which threatens our perseverance in the good; reputation is what the world knows of you, but character is what God knows of you; faith, hope, and love are the content and expression of the good life.

   The author of The Good Life was not a philosopher or a scientist; he was one of the official interfaith chaplains of a great American university noted for its high quality of students. His desire in writing this book was to equip those students for the realities of the human condition in their personal quests for the good life. Read the book, and I trust it will equip you.