Wednesday, February 27, 2013

I Want My Child To Be A Thermostat


    “I want my child to be a thermostat, not a thermometer.” Desiring that his child develops into one who will effect needed change instead of only reflecting it, author James C. Hunter makes this statement in his book, The World’s Most Powerful Leadership Principle (2004). It is appropriate that we give credence to Hunter’s statement because it articulates what we should desire, with temperance, in all youth. By youth, I am referring to middle and high school students (however, elementary youth should be given an appropriate audience). Indeed, there are many young voices out there, now, crying “leadership”, “ownership”, and “sharing” in the decisions involved in many current issues.

     When we express our voices we are expressing ownership. When we express ownership, we are exercising leadership; simple math tells us this. Sadly, many adults do not take ownership (one of the steps to taking ownership for them, simply, would be to vote). If adults consider youth the inheritors of the future – we want them to express their voices as voters of the future - why not give them the opportunity to express their voices (and leadership) now?

     Today’s youth should, more and more, be given the opportunity to voice their opinions and exercise leadership. For example, in the 4-H Youth Program, this focus is evident in such state-level events as Junior Leadership Conference, Citizenship Conference and Washington Focus, 4-H Day at the Capitol, and the Conference on Cooperatives. The names and content of learning activities of a particular youth program may vary from state to state and from locality to locality. However, the point is this: all youth should not only take the role of participants, they should also be taught and encouraged to organize, plan, and help conduct events.

     In the county-level 4-H Program, youth learn how to express their voices through parliamentary procedure, collective decision-making, leadership, and teamwork. Youth professionals equip both adult volunteer leaders and club members with the skills to plan and present/conduct individual as well as club level activities.

     In planning and conducting activities, unexpected setbacks and disappointments may happen; however, they are reinforcements to learning and their occurrence not unusual. My take on leadership development is to equip and then facilitate. Offering help, for example, to a particular youth club that would like to plan a county (or parish) wide event, to include identifying a location, buying awards, and, most importantly, contacting all interested, county-level members of the particular youth program and inviting them to the event. In this scenario  members of the club that planned the event are allowed to exercise their sense of ownership and leadership skills – youth professionals and adult volunteers facilitate the whole process from beginning to end by sharing in the planning and providing professional knowledge, life experiences, and lessons learned.

      In reference to Hunter’s comment, above, I want all youth with whom I work to be thermostats and not thermometers.

    

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

A Letter to Mom


     This entry in The Good Life is devoted to my mom; a nice, 80-something year old lady of Italian ancestry who misses her husband. My dad passed away in 2001. When he died it seems a big part of my mom died with him - she has not been as happy or as positive. She dwells on the good-old-days of the past and the endless list of human evils of the present. I would like to mail her the following letter, but am afraid she will accept it defensively. If anyone who reads this entry can identify with me, in this relationship with my mom, I would more than appreciate some words of comfort and advice.

                                                                                                                   January 28, 2013

    Dearest Mom and Friend:

    You truly have been a mother and friend, and I trust you are doing well since we spoke last.

     I wanted to write, today, because of two concerns. First, although I consider us friends, I feel that we have not grown in this relationship for the past 15 or 20 years. I enjoy phoning and speaking with you twice a month and have enjoyed the occasional visits between me, the boys and Anita, and you – these all have been important, but I would like to improve our relationship in the near future. When Anita and I can sell our house, we will do so and move to Florida, closer to you.

     The second concern deals with your outlook on life since Dad past away. Right now, let’s say, you were offered a trip to heaven by a mysterious being. This being promises you that you would find Dad upon arrival and that you and Dad would live together in peace and happiness for all eternity. Would you take the offer? I know I would not. And I know you well enough that you would not. Let me explain why I feel this way.

     First, we don’t know this mysterious being that is offering the fantastic journey to heaven. And who does this being think he is? Does he truly know you would be reunited with Dad in the same way you were with him on earth – no one makes this promise – not even the holy Bible. God’s word, as revealed in the Bible, promises only eternal life, should one accept Jesus Christ as his/her savior. Consider that our eternal, heavenly bodies will be more concerned with being with God and getting to know Him – there will be an eternity for us to visit our loved ones, but (I feel) in a different way. To guess about how we will live in heaven would be wrong.

      Wrong or changed Christian beliefs have come down to us mortals, like a waterfall, throughout history. And they have been heaped upon us to bear throughout our earthly lives. In Christian belief and worship, God asks that we keep things light and simple, that we just have faith. Recall the apostle Paul who wrote in Hebrews 11:1, “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” 

     Faith is real! It is literally underneath us, as we stand (the sub-stance) convicted (or convinced) of things described in God’s word; things we cannot now see or even dream of.  However, as Paul also writes in 1 Corinthians 13, “For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then (when we finally reach that eternal life) we shall see face to face (the truth).”

     The Second reason for believing you would not go on the trip offered by the mysterious being is selfishness; selfishness on my part. Why would you want to go on a mysterious trip when our (yours and mine) total time together has not been spent?  Why would you want to “leave me and others alone at the movie before it ends”?

     So, dearest Mom and Friend, please don’t trust the mysterious being; stop longing for restful sleep. Instead, continue to trust in the Lord with all your heart and in all ways, and He will direct the paths you take (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Love, always,

Kenneth